abby try again

feeling crafty again

     If you read this, you know I have a thing for junk. More precisely, you know I have a thing for photos of people I do not know that have somehow been discarded and wind up in thrift shops.
    While picking up some art supplies in the Pearl (neighborhood) yesterday I realized that next door to Utrecht's was an awesome antique store. Now, for those of you who have never visited the Pearl neighborhood-well, it is kind of snobby. I find this funny because it is supposed to be "classy" and "nice". Personally-- a neighborhood with an Anthropologie and P.F. Chang's is okay-but certainly nothing to get high and mighty about. Maybe it is because I lived in France when I was 16, but I just am not impressed. Anyway, because I dress like a 14 year old bag lady most of the time-I don't exactly spend a lot of time in the Pearl-it's not really my "scene". But oh-this little shop was really awesome.
   It is called Bernadette Breu, and you can see a photo of it here. This was certainly a place full of wonderful eye candy; old game pices, religious relics, very old trims and ribbons and all sorts of beautiful eccentricities. It was all so inspiring. James and I dug through a giant valise fill of old photos and picked our favorites. Mine is the lady rowing:

    All of this beautiful imagery has inspired me to start working again. I have some batches of hairpins  ready to assemble and special items using these photos to work on. The sun is out and I am excited to start creating again!

totally boring to anyone but me

(above is a photo of some guy's ceiling and is irrelevant to this post)
I watched "Last Picture Show" last night. It really got to me. It broke my heart. I shouldn't watch sad movies. I think I take them too seriously sometimes.
   I am beginning to realize how affected I am by my diet or lack of sleep or the sun or what type of people I am around. I also realize that in the winter it is really, really hard for me to be productive. Not that this is bad. Just thought I'd write it down so I can read this someday and remember it.  I am looking forward to a productive spring. It is such a beautiful day today-I can feel it in the air.
    Lately I've been lucky to be around some really great people-which is awesome because sometimes I can be a bit of a homebody.
   Yesterday I went to goodwill and got a new pair of high top black converse sneakers. It made my day-no, no it made my week. I also got the best blue skirt ever. I am now once again stoked on goodwill. I guess to me it is the little things that matter most.
    Yesterday I felt so good-like-really good to be married.  Not that it feels bad usually-but it is really nice to come home to someone who doesn't care that i am weird- or sometimes too shy or sometimes a loudmouth or sometimes I smell a bit funky because I forgot to wash my sweater-again!
   Wow-this post is all over the place. Sorry-I just felt like writing.

four seasons are great and the delurking of family members

    Well, by now I am sure you all heard that there was actually a snow storm in Portland last week and that it actually stuck on the ground! Yes, yes it was fun, the whole city kind of just shut down and people were snowboarding down my street, cross country skiing to the grocery store and even James and I had some fun outside which included me face planting in the snow and ruining my $2 polaroid camera. Last week was a busy one and blogging just did not fit in my schedule.
    I still have so much to do-dishes and laundry were neglected for walks, concerts, restaurants and friends and so I must cut down my computer time right now and get a few things in order.
   For no particular reason, I decided to share with you some links about my family today-
   This is a link to my brother in law ben's blog. It is so funny and so very "ben". I especially like this post about a poem his dad wrote during WWII and this post about my sister cleaning his cupboards.

    This is a link to a commercial my sister Cassie is in. She lives in SF and has been in several independent films and many, many plays.  I think it is a really cute commercial and while she sends me trailers of her work all the time-I just thought this one was sweet and most "sharable" with you all. Hope you don't mind, Cass!

        Anyway-just some bragging and sharing for no real reason at all. Have a good one!

a gift for you

     I spent the past couple of days with my sister and brother-in-law over in Hood River. It is a quiet, snowy place and it was so nice to relax and chat and cook. Right now there is a snow storm here in Portland, so we are just kind of taking it slow again today.
     When I went to Visalia, my mom and I happened upon a huge stash of old valentines at a junk shop. They all belonged to someone named Walter, and I think many are from the thirties although I could be wrong. My mom and picked out our favorites and mine was this hand drawn beauty that reminds me of Henry Darger:

There are no copyright marks on any of them and from my knowledge these are old enough to be considered "fair use". So I've scanned and sized them and made a little printable sheet for all of you. By clicking here you can access the sheet, print it on card stock, cut the valentines out and enjoy them!  Just make sure that you click on "print preview" first-to make sure that your computer isn't scaling down the designs. According to James-you should be able to click on the image-which will make it larger-and print from there. Hope that makes sense!
Here is a terrible photo of what the sheet looks like:

Enjoy!

ever feel...

so confused about your future that you become completely restless?
     I'm doing everything this week to actually avoid the things I should be thinking about, should be doing. Cleaning the kitchen, deep cleaning the bathroom, visiting with friends, spending too much time on flickr, watching movies, cooking-everything except what I should be doing.
     Sometimes I think I load myself up with distractions in order to escape from my own reality.
     Mail, resumes, registering for school (or at least seeing a counselor about it), re-opening my store, I need to do these things but won't. So here I sit, further procrastinating.....maybe it's just the weather....
     I feel like I've become a person who says "oh, I'll be happy when..." like "I'll be happy when we get a cuter apartment" or "when James finishes school" or "when I have kids" or whatever. It's not really that I am unhappy now-because I am not-but I tend to too often put high hopes in the future instead of enjoying my present and I know that I am the only thing in charge of changing my own state of mind. Things cannot make me happy-only I can decide that....just have to remind myself now and again...
and I am rambling........................

******
thanks for the tips  on the last post! heating pad, sleep, and advil worked! thanks....

plans (aka to-do list)

-mail about 30 packages that have been hanging around way too long

-order t-shirts and onesies from american apparel, stamp them

-bake the carrot cake from "Breakfast, Lunch, Tea"

-bring a resume to a certain shop i would love to help out at

-find a place close to home to volunteer at once in a while

-get rid of the "get rid of" pile in the kitchen

-cut old t-shirts into cute layering tops like the girl in this photo is wearing

-go for more walks

-clean dog poop off of cute red shoes on back porch!

-get back on track with my eating (so bad lately!)

-take more photos

-write more letters

Wow, this is going to sound dumb-but I am experiencing severe cramps right now! I feel like I am 14 again-I am doing the trying to get up and around, taking advil, avoiding caffeine-what helps you? I can't take birth control anymore because it drove me nuts (really!) any secret remedies out there?

Sorry if this is too much info-just thought I'd ask.

grey is the new happy

(taken thursday, january 4, 2007 at pismo beach, ca)

    I have a very selective memory. I was so excited to go home, convinced that sunshine would fill our days, fantastic thrift shopping would be had, impromptu photo shoots at roadside farms would take place and food from all of my old favorite restaurants would fortify me for the months to come. I missed California, I missed home.
   But once home I realized that this was not my home. It was nice to see family, of course, but I felt displaced. The food was too rich, and not as good as I remembered. New (ugly) homes and strip malls replaced orchards and farms. Things were torn down, babies were grown, and I was a bit lost. Nothing stays the same-why would I have that sort of expectation? 
   People assumed that we were so happy to get away from the "gray" Oregon days. And I was, I am sure James was, too. But you know, after a day or two, I missed my home-I missed Oregon. I missed the gray! I missed people who brought their own bags to grocery stores, bad Mexican food, public transportation and being the least weird person in the room. It is good to visit-but I realized that Portland is now my home.
    We came home to netflix in the mailbox and last night I watched "Grey Gardens". Have you seen this? It is amazing. I love the look of the run down mansion. It is hard to watch, but it really made me appreciate my Mother and the relationship we have.
*****
okay-look at how cute my nephew is:

the visit

-why didn't I appreciate all the fruit that grew around my home?
-succulents grow better there
-at night, the temperature dropped and james and i could hear the hum of the heating fans in the nearby orange grove

-the sky is always the same here
-everything is pretty in an ugly sort of way
-my nephew is the cutest

-splash cafe has the world's best chowder
-the ocean is amazing
-i remember why i moved

It is good to be home-more later!

happy new year to all

I hope you all had a safe and joyous new year! I look forward to the year to come-being inspired and hopefully inspiring, too! Thank you for all of your kind wishes and holiday treats-I am a bit behind in mail but hopefully that will be remedied shortly. Your comments and emails this past year have helped me through some very rough times and also supported me during  happy times. This past year was pretty big for me and I hope to grow and continue to explore in 2007. Thanks to all of you and best of luck in the year to come!

Last year, I made some resolutions that I think I really tried to keep. For the most part I am proud of what I accomplished. I could really do better-but hey-I am trying.
   This year I have one big goal that includes many small goals-to be organized!
I am talking about being organized in all aspects of my life-I am really amazed I can get anything done! I hope to keep a date book, James bought me this one and I also hope to keep an updated address book  (I rely on tucked slips of paper-how sad is that!), purge my wardrobe, and get my kitchen in order. It will take time-but I really need to buckle down and do it! Wish me luck......

I am filled with inspiration right now.

-I bought this beautiful book and can't put it down. The colors, the decay, the simplistic patterns-I love it all-so much eye candy. I really want to turn my house upside down-redecorating is in order!

-I am excited about two blogs, one a new venture, and the other new to me.

-cooking carrot cake from this beautiful book

-taking photos like this one with my colorpack camera

   I am leaving for home tomorrow and will be gone for several days. I hope you are all well and I look forward to hearing from you soon!